Eye contact is probably the most powerful way we connect with people. In both an initial encounter and a follow-up, how we look at someone and look away from someone all comes down to the type of expression we exhibit whilst doing so.

Some people aren’t able to look others straight into the eye. I used to be like that, but for many years I’ve been told by my father to look at the person directly when speaking.  Only recently has it begun to settle within me after 18 or more years of hearing it. I am beginning to look at people directly in the eye whilst speaking and the results are magnificent. I feel I’m having much truer contact with them, being able to focus in on that conversation and give it my all without looking elsewhere whilst talking.

Looking at people and meeting their eyes is the first thing to do at striking up a great friendship and positive impressions. Although I still believe a prolonged look at someone whilst talking to them can be threatening or intimidating, making short and frequent gazes works wonders.

Also, honesty and eye-contact seem to be related. One who cannot look truthfully in the eye of someone and speak may be keeping back some things from them or lying about a particular event.

One who is the listener in a conversation also must make contact. It shows responsiveness, interest and that you are actively listening.  Listeners typically look at the speaker about 75% of the time in glances lasting 1-7 seconds. Even flirting or speaking to a lady (or man) that you’d like to date begins with a process of eye-contact and then getting an eye-contact back to signal that you have “permission” to approach them.

What are your thoughts on eye contact?

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